simplicity.

more than words

i'm back from the north pole.
i just decided to come back.

i have a problem with myself.
i managed to screw things up AGAIN.
food, sleep and tears are becoming my foes all over again.
i don't know why i have to screw things up with people, specifically someone that i need most.

and all i do is say sorry.
though i mean all off it, but it seems meaningless right now.
and forever.

i realize i treat my friends like crap.
and never thought bout what my bestf thinks.
i was never there for him.
never.
i screw things up again, and again and again.
i never changed.
thinking i did.
if only time could be reversed.
i would do anything to mend my ways.
but it's now too late.

i forsake months, years of what i would like to say.
the happiest moments of my life.
i screw things up cause of my snobbish, self-centered and selfish ways.
i lost that part of me so badly.
i don't know how to be strong again.

why do i treat the person i love most like crap?
i still don't understand that part of me.
big time.
why you?
why did you have to get the pain?
why did i have to hurt you?
why did you get my empty promises?
have i always been like this?
was this how i showed love to you?

i wished you never knew me.
so, your life will be safe and sound.
away from the pain i give you every single day.

i'm listening to more than words.
like you asked me too.
i'll still keep the dumb dried leaf i picked up.
and the dried up roses which was once fresh 7 months ago.

i'll do anything.

posted by h a fiz a @ 11:53 PM