Friday, April 29, 2005

the reason

"Tiga tahun sudah berlalu. Aku masih tertanya-tanya. Aku masih tidak ada jawapan. Aku masih kehilangan Farhan."

that was the ending of my karangan.
i cried. i wish i didn't.
there was nothing left in my mind other than what's happening.
i pushed myself to write it.
i did.
i realized the mistakes i've done.

haiz. all those passing comments were just jokes.
didn't think bad of it.
i suck.

it's been a few days.
i hate the silence between us.
i hate the goodbyes.

do i have to lose you to realize that i love you more than that?

Thursday, April 28, 2005


i can't hold on to friendships.
can't hold on to anything that ends with -ships.

i feel so screwed.
everything's different now.
totally different.
nothing left to hold on to.

i'm sorry is cliched.
but, i don't know what else to say.

Saturday, April 23, 2005


speech day.
school started at 8am.
ended at 10.10am.
2hrs 10mins.
how fun is that?!

went home.
took a nap.
off i go.

haha. i guess i'm immune to stage fright already.
after the performance.
took photos.
then ate.
got busted by sarodjiny, dr.
haha. i was sitting on beeee's lap.
sabrinah was sitting on khalis' lap.
there weren't any space for us to sit.
haha. then she came to us.
"stand up, stand up. there's many other places to sit..."
yada yada yada.

slacked at mac.
took photos.
i love taking photos with khalis.
they ALWAYS turn out nice.
went off to meet beeee.
was suppose to go with khalis.
but, i had to wait for him. waited.
went off without him.
met beee.
khalis asked me to wait for him.
waited. took quite sometime.
crapped with beeee & mark.
khalis came with quddus and azahar.
crapped again.
was the only girl.
it makes no difference, since mark was gay-ish just now.

beee sent me home.
yada yada yada.
it's nice to end your tiring day with someone you love.

Monday, April 18, 2005


went to relc in the morning for performance.
acted datin-datin/permaisuri/dayang-dayang convention.
with the fake curly hair, tall sangguls. sipping tea.
totally kickass.

given the rest of the school day off.
haha. love the prawn for that.
slacked, the floor, mat, mp3.
fell asleep with shafinah's sweater.

bell rang. went down.
looking for beeee and banda aceh aka pahang aka yassir.
hahaha. found beeee. and remembered i left my shoe inside the malay room.
found yassir finally, after going up and down.
sebseb talking to yassir.
was talking to beee. wiping his oily face with my towel.
talking about polka dots camisole.
asked him to bring home my shoes 'cause was lazy to lug it around school.
so sweet of him. haha.

blah bla blah.
had speech day rehearsal.
was a cock-ed up thingy.
there is one part. i had to run to the other side of the stage.
tried avoiding riduan. avoidable.
avoided falling of the stage.
avioded knocking into nafisah so she won't fall off the stage.
avoided all that. but, came shafinah's pole.
hit me right in the stomach.
raudiyah said i was pale after that part.
oops. scareeey indeed.
yada yada yada.

met beee after rehearsal.
had dinner with him.
brought my shoes along. haha.
slacked and eat.
chat about stuff. pointless stuff. always.
slacked. comparing our legs, scars.
telling him about how much i love short skirts.
hahaha. crap.
seventeen & lime.

that's all for today.
tired and shagged but still not asleep.

Saturday, April 16, 2005

i can see a rainbow

blog re-vamped.
got sick of that b.i.t.c.h template.
went for something simple.
couldn't be bothered with anything.
polka dots. my favourite.

changed some of the photos to links.
so, just clicked on it.

not in a very good mood right now.
don't blame me for throwing my bloody tantrum.
don't blame me i've wasted YOUR time.
even i did say "YOU SHUT UP FIRST!"
who wanted to waste time?
who wanted to go all the way to KEPPEL DISTRICPARK to pick him up?
that took a bloody long time to reach.
i'm still pissed.
was only supposed to go out with her.
i'm pissed with all of you. not only her. ALL.
wasted my precious time.
i did nothing productive the whole day.
i've got nothing out of it.
was just wasting my time away.

fcuk you.

Saturday, April 09, 2005

hey you

helllloooo... everyone!
sorry for not blogging.
haaha. been busy and lazy.
with school, life etc etc etc.
and busy slacking my arse off too.

i really dunno what to say.
what to type.
i lost that blogging touch.
haha. decided to blog more. hopefully.