Saturday, February 26, 2005


i feel so bloody cheated.
bleah. i hate it.
and i thought i was the only one.
i was too dumb to realize it.

i thought i was your world.
but, yes. i'm dumb.
do you realize that?

you make me hate you more.
but, why this crappy feeling?
more to jealousy than hate.
can you get out of my life?

i wanna push you away.
you thought it's easy for me, YOU THOUGHT.
how do i push you away?
stop telling me you miss me.

stop telling me, i'm one in a million.
stop proclaiming your love for me.
from now, it's pure bullshit.
i used to accept it, even though we're not together anymore.

but now, no way i'm gonna accept it.
you piss me. but, not really.
why do i have to feel jealous?
when i already say i've moved on?

slap her.
wake her up.
she said she's moved on.
but, why the feeling of jealousy invades her.

once today ends, it'll be the third day.
the third day, i have this sucky feeling.
it's all because of you.
and no, it's no due to THAT TIME OF THE MONTH.

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

love and hate

what's wrong with blogger.
suddenly, the toolbar disappeared.
bleah. crap-a-doodle-doo.

previous entry was to vent my anger.
bleah. was really angry at him.
but, now all is fine.
no hard feelings ar?
just in case you stumble upon here.
asking the wrong person about internet stuff.
i just know how to use it.
bleahhh. haha.

haha. faisal is such a darling.
i dunno. i just feel like saying that.

BTW. had a little mini-shopping spree on friday.
i bought an EBASE pants. haha. sale item.
2 bags from TOPSHOP which altogether cost $18.
2 short-sleeved lycra top from giordano in hotpink & green.
bought fareehah's boy-girl earrings.

on sunday went out for awhile.
town was so like free.
haha. empty spaces.
i finally bought my hotpink+black top from FOX.
bought pai his every so lovely shirt.
bleah. i like the plain racer back and the polo t's from giordano.

now, i'm saving up.
the bill is here.
and it came like a bomb this month.
the highest so far.
hahaha. cannot cannot cannot.
must save money. bleah.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

kini kau tiada

now i have a reason to sing kelly clarkson's since you've been gone.
you made me realize i've moved.
no more coming back.
thanks, bugger.
i dunno how i survived knowing you for more than 2 years.
and what's more fascinating, how the hell did i survived one year and six months ++ being your girlfriend?
fcuk you. told you i didn't wanna talk to anybody with dick.
don't tell me you don't have one.
well, you have one, alright!
who are you to me?
you told you you're a nobody now.
but, why do you still busybody-ing around?
asking this and that.
aren't you always answering your own questions?
whatever i give you, even if it's the real truth.
you'll still think your answer is the real one.
oh, fcuk you.
i don't need you in my life anymore.
you're fcuking ego can go to hell.

Monday, February 14, 2005

life without you

stop bugging me.
stop it.
stop calling me.
it's irritating.
can't you get the cue from all the shoutings you get from me everyday?
what's wrong with you?
haven't you had enough?

make up your mind!!

it's time you move on.
you can't simply be around me still but saying that you've moved on.
saying that you still love me and can't stop.
i need to move on.
but, with you around what am i suppose to do?
it's harder for me to put you away.
you think i like to chuck you aside (other than breaking up with you)?
what do you expect from me?
i told you already, i'm not coming back.
and, i really mean it this time.

i don't want somebody from the past.
i want somebody from the present.
i'm having mixed feelings.
i know it's not right.
i don't wanna ruin what we have now.
but, all i ever want now is YOU.

this is what i am now.
my heart's been beating too fast.
my mind's all drained from the thinking.
pain from the emotions i face each day.
behind the smiles and laughter, there is a broken heart.
it needs to be mended.

Friday, February 11, 2005

killing me softly

window shopping is terribly killing me.
HELP!! i want cash!
somebody be my sugar daddy please? (: *nuts*

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

fashion rampage

boredom invades me. was suppose to change my bedsheets but ended up having a fashion rampage.
my FOX red racer back. (:
trying to act classy.
posing. haha. laugh all you want. don't look at the my messy room.
just me, my black camisole, my rose-coloured blazer and my sister's black shell earrings. ( i was wearing a skirt la. but, can't see lor. )

Monday, February 07, 2005


i'm officially pathetic. PATHETIC.

the heart's breaking

i feel crappy.
yes, very crappy.
waited for ifah to finish rehearsal.
then me, her, ruben, mark and manesh. went j8.
ifah wanted to get something for hottie (whoever he is. haha.)
it was nice.
i was looking around, thinking. should i get him something?
didn't get to see any wallets.
saw some chains. and those rings. tempting.
went swatch. saw watches. haiz. they were incredible perfect. yet pricey.
those watches were killing me. they were practically calling out to me. "buy me, buy me please!"
all that, not for me. for a particular someone.
after all that, had coffee, mudpie and ice blended at coffee bean with mark, ruben and ifah.
we chatted and crapped. talking about ex girlfriends, ex boyfriends, past relationships.
talking about that particular relationship with the ex.
talking about moving on. and not going back to square.
at that moment, the ex walked past coffee bean.
i froze. i stopped talking. my eyes were glued, looking at him past.
finally said, "oh my gawd!"
then, i was like "what the hell?!" and i was like stomping my feet.
mark, who was being a sucker. ran out to talk to him.
crappo siah that guy.
we talked and talked.
ifah asked me to move on. hopefully, i can. (:

Wednesday, February 02, 2005



Honey, It's been a long time coming
And I can't stop now
Such a long time running
And I can't stop now
Do you hear my heart beating
Can you hear that sound
Cause I can't stop thinking
And I don't look down

And then I looked up at the sun
And I could see
Oh the way that gravity turns for you and me
And then I looked up at the sky and saw the sun
And the way that gravity pulls on everyone, on everyone

Baby, It's been a long time waiting
Such a long, long time
And I can't stop smiling
No I can't stop now
And do you hear my heart beating
Ah can you hear that sound
Cause I can't help crying
And I won't look down

And then I looked up at the sun and I could see
Oh the way that gravity turns on you and me
And then I looked up at the sun and saw the sky
And the way that gravity pulls on you and I, on you and I

Can you hear my heart beating
Can you hear that sound
Cause I can't help crying
And I wont look down

4e3 is so hit by the love bug. haha. well, the above song isn't for them anyway. haha. well, don't kpo and ask who it's for.